As a child, I was fascinated by the Indian army. I loved their uniforms, weapons, vehicles (especially the trucks), their macho physiques… I wanted to be a soldier when I grew up. But my frail physique and poor eyesight made this career a no-go.
But that didn’t deter my love for the army, or camouflage clothes. I yearned to own and wear them. My parents didn’t share this enthusiasm though.
Last week, before leaving for a meeting, I showed my attire off to my mother – camouflage t-shirt, brown cargos, light brown Woodland shoes and a camouflage bag.
I have two camouflage t-shirts and pajamas, and track pants. I am looking for a sexy camouflage riding jacket. Heck, if I come across camouflage underclothes, I’ll buy them too.
The best thing? I bought them all myself.
We feel disappointed when others don’t let us fulfill our dreams. Parents, spouse, children, friends, partners – if they don’t behave how we expect, we feel victimized. Life is unfair; the cards are stacked against us… we will never be happy.
But, you don’t have to depend on others to discover (and fulfill) your dreams.
You are enough.
Fulfill your dreams yourself. The satisfaction you experience after you fulfill a personal goal or ambition cannot be expressed in words.
You dream about starting a venture. But family responsibilities hold you back. You aspire to be an author, but pressure at work and home weighs you down. You want to pursue a creative field, but your parents and teachers taught you that creativity is not your cup of tea. And then you feel inferior, and victimized, as surely as night follows day.
Here’s the truth. Nobody is deprived of what they deserve in life.
So, instead of complaining, work towards making yourself worthy. Instead of demanding something, or complaining like an entitled brat, prove to others – and to yourself – that you deserve it.
Want to be an entrepreneur? Put your phone aside. Put in two hours every day to build what you dream of.
Want to write a book. Write every day. And, ensure that you are not disturbed during that time.
Want to find a job which makes you feel gratified? Develop the needed skills so that interviews just cannot turn you away.
Want to pursue a creative field, but are not financially independent yet? Take some free (or low cost) online courses, and complete them. Read Elizabeth Gilbert’s articles. Then practice.
Want to enjoy a vacation to a dream destination? Don’t wait for a handout. Make yourself financially capable to visit the place on your terms.
Make yourself worthy.
That is the key to self improvement.
I am a spiritual person; one who believes that a soul drives a body. Yes, the does drives it too. But without the soul, we are like walking corpses. When we reflect on life, we think about our journey since childhood.
But the journey of the body is a small part of the journey of life. The complete journey is the journey of the soul. And the soul doesn’t necessarily grow with time like the body does. That’s why people can turn cynical at age fifteen and stay like that till they are eighty five.
This means you have enough time to fulfill your true mission. You might not figure it out now. But in the time, you will. So it’s okay if you didn’t achieve what you wanted. But don’t stop trying. Ever.
There is a thin line between deserving something and feeling like the world owes it to you. It’s as thin as the difference between passion and obsession. If you don’t watch yourself, stepping over to the dark side is easy.
So how do we distinguish between the two? Simple. When you feel entitled you also feel victimized and deprived. But when you deserve something, you have faith in yourself and in Father Time.
When you are ready, what you prepared for will come to you.
So throw away the blanket of helplessness wrapped around you. Dump that corner where you sit when you feel sorry for yourself. Tell yourself, “I will make myself worthy of what I want.” You won’t just get what you want. You will earn your own respect. Slowly, respect from others will follow. No one worthy of something was deprived of it. The same holds true for you.